When Loss Becomes a Silent Classmate for Orphaned Students

Across Nigeria, thousands of Nigerian students resume school each year carrying not just foodstuffs and lecture notes, but grief. In these institutions, students are taught how to think, argue, and to prepare for examinations. No one teaches them how to survive loss.

This is the reality of some students in Usmanu Danfodiyo University, Sokoto (UDUS), when grief arrives without warning through a call after midnight, a message received on the way to prayer, or the sudden silence left by a parent who never returned home. While lectures commenced and academic calendars remained unmoved, these students were forced to return to class, carrying something heavier than books—the absence of the people who once gave motivation, direction, and reassurance to their lives.

A loss that came in the night

Yakubu Ahmad, a 200-level Law student who was born into royalty, lost his father in the early hours of November 06, 2025. The night had been ordinary just like every other night. His father left home healthy, without complaint, and signs of illness. Nothing suggested that it would be their last parting.

“My mum woke me up and said my dad had suddenly fallen seriously sick,” he recalled. Fear came immediately. In that moment of uncertainty, he turned instinctively to prayer. “I prayed to Allah that it shouldn’t be what I feared the most, death,” Yakubu added.

Before his mother and elder siblings could reach his father, the news came irreversibly. “He has already passed on,” Yakubu said, describing his father as who masterminded his son’s dream and has always looked forward to seeing the day he would be called to the Nigerian bar.

Yakubu accepted his destiny and believed whatever God decreed would definitely come to pass. “I miss him dearly. I still wish he can be here with us, but Allah knows best,” he lamented.

At the time, Yakubu had just completed his first year in UDUS. He related that his father was not only a parent but a pillar, emotionally steady, morally grounding, and deeply invested in his future. “Emotionally, I was devastated and my heart was broken,” he said.

However, grief did not suspend responsibility. Barely days after the news of his father’s death surfaced, while he was still finding it difficult to cope with the situation on ground, another one rose. The university released its 2025/2026 academic calendar, and according to the calendar, lectures were scheduled to start on the 8th December, 2025.

As he struggled internally, external pressure mounted. Calls from his landlord at school had become frequent, and rent had to be paid, or the room would be given to someone else. “That was a great challenge for me. And that was when I missed my Dad most,” he said.

Yet, abandoning his education never crossed his mind. Continuing became more than ambition; it became an obligation to a dream his father did not live to see.

However, grief did not suspend responsibility. Barely days after the news of his father’s death surfaced, while he was still finding it difficult to cope with the situation on ground, another one rose. The university released its 2025/2026 academic calendar, and according to the calendar, lectures were scheduled to start on the 8th December, 2025.

As he struggled internally, external pressure mounted. Calls from his landlord at school had become frequent, and rent had to be paid, or the room would be given to someone else. “That was a great challenge for me. And that was when I missed my Dad most,” he said.

Yet, abandoning his education never crossed his mind. Continuing became more than ambition; it became an obligation to a dream his father did not live to see.

When grief enters the lecture hall

Abdur-Rahman, a 200-level student, resumed the lecture hall with grief. He had just returned for the second semester of the 2024/2025 academic session when, on Tuesday 24th July, 2025, news of his mother’s demise broke.

“I lost my beloved mother a day after our first lecture,” he said.

A first-year student still adjusting to university life, Abdur-Rahman expressed how his mum’s absence affected his emotional and psychological conditions. He hardly attended lectures, reading became extremely difficult, and when he reluctantly did, he barely comprehended anything.

A survey carried out on bereaved students in Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria reflects that the death of a parent exerts a significant emotional and academic toll on students’ academic achievement, echoing the need for support systems for affected students, especially during examinations.

In line with the findings, Abdur-Rahman disclosed that taking exams became difficult due to lack of concentration and confidence. “During exams, I used to lose confidence. The pain affected me seriously,” he said.

There was no formal institutional support, only words urging patience. “Family, friends and neighbors encouraged me to accept the test with good faith. Apart from Allah, there was no other support,” he stated.

Different moments of loss, one shared reality

Different moments of loss—Ramadan’s evening call, Yakubu’s midnight shock, Abdur-Rahman’s grief that arrived as lectures resumed—share one reality. None of these students gave up on education.

Yakubu, Ramadan, and Abdur-Rahman believe universities, governments, and charitable organisations must do more through fee flexibility, scholarships, stipends, and structured emotional support to help students navigate trauma alongside coursework.

“Life taught me that a mother is a shield. Once she leaves, the shadow disappears,” Abdur-Rahman reflected.

SDG advocate weighs in

Speaking with Campus Reporter, Tasiu Aminu, a United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) advocate for SDG 1 and 4, said losing one or both parents mid-school is painful, disruptive, and filled with unforeseen challenges.

He opined that the impact goes beyond financing. In line with SDG 4 (Quality Education), Aminu emphasized that without emotional and psychological support, education itself becomes difficult, let alone quality education.

“When someone halts schooling, we couldn’t even talk about the quality of their education,” he said, adding that such students are often mentally and psychologically derailed.

He referenced a friend who lost his mother close to exams and could not sit for them. “My friend missed many exams due to the trauma and mental instability of his loss,” he narrated.

Institutional response and student support

As Chairman of the Students’ Union Caretaker Committee (SU-CTC), Aminu referenced the Nigerian Education Loan Fund (NELFUND) initiative and how it has helped students with school fees and monthly allowances.

Established under the Student Loans (Access to Higher Education) (Repeal and Re-enactment) Act, 2024, signed into law on April 3, 2024, NELFUND provides interest-free loans to eligible students, with repayment starting two years after National Youth Service through salary deductions.

He added that the SU-CTC has also intervened in cases where students were unable to pay tuition fees, supporting them within its capacity. “We supported these students with the little we can, in supplement to what they have with them at the time,” he said.

He also mentioned the SU-CTC UDUS online Complaint Desk where students can lodge challenges via complaintdeskudussu@gmail.com.

He concluded by encouraging students facing mental and psychological trauma to leverage available support systems, including NELFUND.