Untold Stories of How Divorce Affects Students’ Academic Performances

Bashirat Durojaye was 10 years old when her parents divorced over what they said were irreconcilable differences. Following the family troubles, she and her siblings grew up with a single mother in Kwara state, Northcentral Nigeria. 

While Durojaye’s parents did not take into consideration the trauma their separation from marriage would cause their children, the kids grew up disliking their father for leaving them to ‘suffer’ under the watch of an indigent woman.

“The whole drama started when my mother experienced physical and emotional abuse in marriage and several solutions proved abortive. Apart from living a fatherless life despite the fact that my father is alive, I experienced humiliation from friends and foes. They gave my mom different kinds of names because they were so curious about my father’s whereabouts”, Basirat said. 

Though she’s currently a 300 level student of Usmanu Danfodiyo University  Sokoto (UDUS), she explained that her parents’ separation shattered her education. 

“I always feel sad and lonely as I already developed insomnia and imposter syndrome,” she said. “Since my mom is a clerical staff in a public secondary school, I hardly buy handouts and it often affects my grades.” 

Durojaye also said the separation of her parents continues to cause her trauma and it is already taking a toll on her academic performance. 

Divorce 

Divorce has long term effects on children as they often fall victim to antisocial behaviours from peer groups and they tend to exhibit a variety of psychological problems. 

A study says the divorce rate in Africa has increased from 2.4% in 1980 to 3.6% in 2010. Although there’s no data on the percentage of broken families in Nigeria, there have been several reports on sexual and gender violence, leading to dissolution of marriage. 

When these incidents occur, children are exposed to traumatic events that adversely affect attention, memory, and cognition. All of these reduce their ability to focus, organise, and process information due to frustration.

“Children witnessing relationship drama between their parents can be traumatised. For students, growing up in a dysfunctional household can even affect the adult relationships they will have later in life,” said James Ademakin, a marriage counsellor. She added that dissolved families bring distraction that might affect children’s academics.

Painful tales

In the case of Sulaiman Jamiu, a 20-year-old student of Alhikmah University in Kwara, her parents cutoff their marriage on the ground of tribal differences which were said to have been influenced by both relatives.

His father is Hausa and his mother is from the Yoruba tribe. They went their separate ways when he was in primary four. 

“The differences had been there prior to their marriage but they both agreed to proceed because they loved each other then. However, things eventually fell apart,” he narrated. “My Dad has remarried but my Mom is still single. Anytime I saw parents coming together to check their wards during open days in my secondary school, I was dejected and always wished for such.”

With all the emotional trauma he has had, Jamiu is still hoping for the better days where his parents will reunite and shower him the care he deserves and reshape his perception towards life.

Also, Muhammad Aminu, a final year  student of engineering at the Kebbi State University of Science and Technology Aliero (KSUSTA), said his parents’ 30 years old marriage was dissolved when his father asked his mother to give birth to more children. 

Meanwhile, the woman had lost her fertile womb to medical complications. 

“My Dad did not like the fact that my mother cannot reproduce anymore. So, he succumbed to cheating which led to having several girlfriends around him”, Aminu recalled. His father later moved for divorce which forced his mom to solely fund his studies. 

In a bid to assist the single mother, Aminu sometimes works as a labour in construction sites within the school environment.

Way forward 

Speaking on solutions to this menace, Dr. Omojefe Kennedy Orezime, a social and psychological scientist, said students with single parents need to become more self aware and be encouraged to have mentors that fill up any gaps.

Omojefe explained that soft skills training in emotional intelligence, leadership and communication would help them understand themselves and perform better in schools. 

“When a child is forced to suffer psychological distress in addition to educational stress, there is a tendency for him to perform below his full capacity in most cases. Only a few take this stress as a challenge to be different.

“Intending couples should get more knowledge about marriage and parenting before going into it which will help them to build a lovely family and home. They should also try to seek help from counsellors.”